Advisor and Writer

I. Check contact information and format
. . . . (then citations and references)

Is the heading in proper form: class, group, number, and name ?
Is there a title?
Is the body written in paragraphs?

Research papers or papers
with external information

Are there citations in the text?
Is there a reference section at the end?
Is there a one-page copy for each (new) reference?

Underline and check in-text citations

Is the form correct: (name, year) ?
Is there only one in-text cite for each reference?

Check references

Does every in-text cite have a reference: name (year) ...?
Does every reference have at least one in-text cite?
Do any have more than one in-text cite?

Do references have titles? Japanese in romaji [with English] ?
Does the Japanese title have spaces between the words?
Are the words capitalized except for the grammar words?

Does the URL address take you to the information used?

II. Check and analyze the text

The advisor reads the writer's paper--sentence by sentence
and asks the writer about anything that is

(1) difficult to understand or
(2) even a little bit vague.

The advisor underlines anything that can be written

more clearly,
more concisely (=shorter),
more simply, or
in a way that is easier to understand.

If ANY sentence seems to be okay as it is, the advisor should analyze the grammar in that sentence by

(1) identifying subjects (S), verbs (V), and objects (O): write S above the noun in the subject phrase, O above the noun in the object phrase(s), and V above the verb(s);
(2) identifying prepositional noun phrases: write + above the preposition and A above the noun; and
(3) identify dependent clauses: + above the connecting word and R above its verb(s).
and show where it belongs.

III. Discuss

The advisor and writer discuss any possible changes.

IV. Make corrections

The writer decides what changes to make and makes those changes (see proofSent.html) just like we've practiced in class and WITHOUT ERASING anything:

(1) to eliminate words, draw a line or X through them;
(2) to move words, draw a circle around them, then an arrow;
(3) and to add words, write the word above the sentence
and show where it belongs.

Do NOT rewrite the entire sentence. While making each correction,
try to write as little as possible.

If you want the teacher's opinion on any particular sentence,
write that sentence on the blackboard at the front of the room.
The teacher will then help you to think about possible corrections.

V. Evaluate

A. Good--identify and explain what is good.
B. Bad--identify and explain what is bad.
B. How good?--on a scale of 1-6.

VI. Comment--suggest how to make it Better.

Rethink	Rewrite
on topic ? complete ?	delete irrelevant material add information
correct information ? valid opinion ? interesting ?	delete and / or add support or change delete and / or add
short and concise ?	delete low quality material
simple ? easy to understand ? well-ordered ?	use easy vocabulary rephrase unclear sentences move or remove unconnected material

IV. Move (in a circle)

A. every 5 minutes or so
B. front right corner does NOT move
B. everyone else rotates clockwise

O         O . O         O	O         O . O         O	O         O . O         O
O         O L O         O	O         O M O         O	O         O R O         O
O         O . O         O	O         O . O         O	O         O . O         O